Will that be eat in or take-away?

Apparently its in Dublin.  Wonder if they do home deliveries?

Rats - I can’t believe it, this is fake and there is no Vagina Tandoori.  I believe its Nagina, which you can see from this photo.

Oh well, time for my own funny sign story.  We stayed in a hotel in Seoul a few years ago, and found the toilet roll holder in the bathroom had this logo:

Very appropriate for the product.

Technorati Tags: vagina tandoori, bumhan toilet roll holder

Snippets

1. TomKat’s baby

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have had their baby. Wonder if Katie managed to maintain silence during the birth (as per the doctrine of shyster and crappy sci-fi author L Ron Hubbard, also known to those fooled into believing it as Scientology).

As for the baby’s name, Suri, its ok, but its not a name I’d choose if the poor kid ever had to go to a public school in Australia. I could just imagine the nicknames the girl would get.

Just to add to the general wierdness of it, Tom Cruise apparently plans to eat the placenta. Yummy!

2. Michelle Leslie

Michelle Leslie seems to have forsaken her Islamic faith and adherence to strict dress standards such as wearing a burqah. She has appeared in a modelling show for the first time since her release from gaol in Bali after serving a short sentence for ecstacy possession.

How apt is the swimsuit (?) she is modelling? Was the designer taking the piss dressing her up in convict stripes?

3. Blame everyone else

There was a car smash in Sydney over Easter which killed 4 people.

It seems the driver of the car, one Goran Nikoloski, was speeding and lost control of his car, smashing head on into another car. Nikoloski and a passenger in his car, Adam Norris, were killed, as were two people in the other car. It turns out that Nikoloski has a long record of driving offences, had accumulated enough demerit points to lose his license, had been notified that his license was to be suspended, but at the time of the crash, was in the notice period in which he could appeal the suspension.

Of course, this leads the father of Adam Norris to say:

“I’m absolutely filthy on the RTA for this and I demand to know why he still had a licence at all.”

Fair enough, but why not also ask:

• what was Goran Nikoloski doing driving a high performance car (Subaru WRX) like a dickhead?
• what was his son doing driving around with a dickhead behaving like that?

I’m sure loss of his license wouldn’t have stopped Nikolowski driving anyway. He clearly lacked any respect for the rules of the road, and drove like a fuckwit and would have continued to do so. Fair enough he killed himself - the problem with dangerous drivers is they kill innocent people as well …. in this case an elderly couple.

Speaking of dickheads lacking respect for the law, what about this guy? Stopped near Windsor early in the morning, failed a breath test and charged with drink driving while disqualified. Then he goes off in his car and gets caught again a few hours later. Fuckwit!!!!

What do we do with pricks like these? I think they should have their licenses cancelled permanently, their cars confiscated and fined so heavily they are not in a financial state to replace their car. Loss of your car and a $30k fine might get some of these idiots thinking …. although many think they are invincible and will never be caught.

4. Go Dizzy!!!

Jason Gillespie = champion!!!! 201 not out.

Technorati Tags: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, L Ron Hubbard, Scientology, Michelle Leslie, Goran Nikoloski, maniac drivers, road fatalities, dickheads. Jason Gillespie

Teledildonics

Sounds like some scientists have too much time and money on their hands! (and I think other things in their hands).

A field dubbed “teledildonics” already allows people at two remote computers to manipulate electronic devices such as a vibrator at the other end for sexual purposes. Now, who thought of that name? Funny, ha ha!

I can just picture a new range of USB powered accessories such as these. Or maybe these. (Warning, not work safe!). Maybe they could just cut out the middleman and build them straight into the computer. A laptop with a built in fleshlight drive? (poses some interesting design problems unless makers are prepared to sacrifice weight and size in their laptops). “Excuse me, ma’am, thats a rather unusual thumb drive you have there in your laptop bag.” asks the airport security guy. “Gee, the battery life in my laptop is even more shithouse than usual” will be an even more common complaint to the techo geeks at work.

Technorati Tags: teledildonics, cybersex, dildo, fleshlight, wanking

Stawell Gift

I just love this as a sporting event.  It is just so quaint and old-fashioned, and its great that its survived for something like 125 years since it was first run.  The grass track, the big old grandstand at Central Park in Stawell, the handicapper, the bookies, the officials in their white coats and hats …. its a hangover from before most sports have become heavily commercialised.

This year’s winner was Adrian Mott.  He won $40k plus no doubt some share of whatever his backers picked up in the bookies compound.

Technorati Tags: Stawell Gift, athletics, sport

Technologically challenged

Grrrrrr!!! Not impressed with technology at the moment. My digicam seems to have packed it in. It’ll be off to Canon on Tuesday I think. The problem is that when I go to take photos I get no image on the LCD or the viewfinder - however, I can view photos taken previously on the LCD. Changed the memory card, changed the batteries, fiddled with all the settings, even went as far as reading the manual and went through the troubleshooting section. No luck, still couldn’t get it working.

This comes hot on the heels of my monitor dying a couple of weeks ago. My nice flat panel …. now I’m reduced to using an old monitor we had stored in the garage.

Fuck, shit, bum, poo, wee, crap.

Oh, and happy Easter. Did you get lots of chocolate? Do you scoff it all quickly, like today, or eke it out over several days or longer? Must confess, I go for the binge approach usually.

Update (26/05/2006): Got my camera back and all is well. Also just went and got myself a nice shiny new 19″ flat panel monitor, courtesy of a nice little bonus my employer gave me this week.

Technorati Tags: digital camera, Canon. technology, Easter, chocolate

One rule for sea, one for air

I’m puzzled about the rationale for the Federal Government’s newly announced policy for dealing with illegal immigrants.  Those arriving by boat will now all be detained and processed in one of Australia’s offshore detention centres, even if they reach the mainland rather than one of our offshore islands.  In these offshore centres, their access to legal representation, and other support, is severely curtailed.  Those arriving by plane will continue to be treated as they are now.

Why the distinction?  Could it be that the boat arrivals tend to be those pesky brown and black people, even muslims, while the ones coming by plane tend to be white or Asian (not as good as your white folk, but they’re still better than brown and black skinned people, or heaven help us those muslim terrorists).  Surely these sort of considerations wouldn’t come into our government’s thinking on immigration policy?

Or is it to do with appeasing Indonesia over our acceptance of refugee claims by that group of refugees from Irian Jaya (West Papua)?  Simple answer to that SBY and Indonesia, stop your police and army persecuting the people in West Papua - chances are they might stop fearing for their safety and trying to escape and seeking refugee status in Australia.

Little wonder, having to implement (and no doubt having helped dream up) Australia’s draconian policies towards asylum seekers, and then doing this in ham-fisted fashion, that Department of Immigration staff say their department’s image is abysmal, and morale is shocking.  The department’s theme song should be “nobody likes me, everybody hates me ….” - I think in the last several years its more likely to have been something like “DIMIA uber alles …”.

Technorati Tags: illegal immigrants, refugees, detention, asylum seekers, DIMIA, Indonesia, West Papua, Irian Jaya

Creative excuses … # 3,758

I tripped, and the iron bar I had in my hand accidently hit the other guy in the head. So says Billy Wijaya, accused of bashing a 17 year old youth in Rushcutters Bay, Sydney. The result of this accident is that the victim is in hospital in a coma, having lost feeling in the left side of his body and all motor skills, with bone fragments imbedded in his brain.

Accident …. yeah right!!!! For the accidental blow to have done the damage it did, Wijaya must also have suffered a few broken bones too, the force of the fall from his trip must have been so great? But apparently he’s ok. And, strangely enough, another youth also got a fractured skull …. another accident, I suppose?

Boys get into fights … funnily enough I’ve been able to avoid getting into fisticuffs all my life, but many seem unable to do so, but what motivates someone to pick up a metal bar to use, or a knife, or a bottle. Fuckers! The very act of having such a weapon in your hand, whether used or not, should earn the holder a good spell in gaol.

From the sounds of it, this fight has fucked the life of the guy in a coma, all over some stupid insults that escalated into stupidity (and violence - which is the resort of those lacking the intellectual capacity to ignore, or otherwise deal with the situation). The men accused of the assault, both 18, should both be going to gaol, where they will no doubt be quite “popular” (going from their mugshots they may not be the prettiest of boys, but I’m sure they’ll do in Long Bay or wherever they end up).

I wonder how hard Wijaya’s lawyer had to stop himself from bursting out laughing when they came up with this defence. He said Wijaya ran to the aid of his two mates. He said Wijaya picked up an iron bar lying in the middle of the road and never intended to use it. “He … tripped over a small hedge and fell forward towards the victim. The bar struck [the victim].” Sure, I believe this …. wouldn’t anyone?

Unfortunately for him, the magistrate didn’t. Magistrate David Heilpern said the excuse given by the 18-year-old Rushcutters Bay barman was an “improbability”.

Technorati Tags: crime, excuses, bullshit

Got out of gaol

Great embarassment was avoided for Australia in the cricket test against Bangladesh today.  The bottom ranked team in the world dominated the game for the first 2 days before it started to turn on day 3.  Bangladesh smacked our bowlers around on day 1, and then had us 6-93 before Adam Gilchrist came to the rescue with 144 runs.  The Bangladeshis threw the game away by folding for only 148 in their 2nd innings - leaving Australia 307 to win.  Australia got there, despite a few hiccups along the way, with 3 wickets to spare.

The hero for Australia was Ricky Ponting who scored 118 not out - a great captain’s knock.

 

Well done Australia for getting out of the shit you got into over the early parts of this game.  Well done Bangladesh for sticking it to Australia so well - but they threw the game away with poor batting in their 2nd innings … another 50 or so runs would have made the game even tighter for Australia. 

So much for my predictions before the series.  I had visions of Australia scoring 1000 and bowling Bangladesh out for 50 in each innings.

The second test starts in a few days.  I suspect the cricket world will return to normality then and Australia will win convincingly in around 3 days.

Technorati Tags: cricket, Australia, Bangladesh, Ricky Ponting

Song lyrics

I was listening to some music today, and liked these lyrics:

“Use it”, The New Pornographers, from “Twin Cinema”, 2005.

This got me to thinking of other songs which I think have pretty special lyrics. A couple more that come to mind are:

Sometimes you can say more, in a drunken hour or so
Than some people get across, in a life of lying low.

“For a Short Time”, Weddings, Parties, Anything, from “They Were Better Live”, 1999

and this:

You’re a man in a cage
I see you everyday
You’re the one who has everything
….
And you think you’re happy, better than the rest
But you’re a prisoner like everybody else

“The Prisoner”, The Saints, from “Prehistoric Sounds”, 1979.

And here’s another:

Until you take your shoes
And go outside. stride over stride,
Walk to that tide because
The door is open wide.
Stride over stride
Walk to that tide.
Bye, Bye Pride.

“Bye Bye Pride”, The Go-Betweens, from “Tallulah”, 1987

There’s lots of others, but thats what this train of thought brings to mind. Fascinates me how just a line or two from a song sticks in your mind and makes that song stand out from the run of the mill.

Technorati Tags: New Pornographers, Go-Betweens, Weddings Parties Anything, The Saints, lyrics

Nuts

If true, and the US Administration is planning to attack Iran’s nuclear facilities, including the possibility of using tactical nuclear weapons to destroy them, then I concur with British Foreign Secretary, Jack Straw’s view:

“completely nuts”

Update - 11/04/2006: just heard GWB on the news talking about preventing Iran obtaining “nucular” weapons, whatever they are?

Technorati Tags: Iran, nuclear weapons