Panda porn
A zoo in Chiang Mai, Thailand, is going to show its male panda some porn videos because he and his female partner don’t know how to mate. Interesting idea this, although I’m not not of the likelihood of success. The zoo’s project manager had this to say:
“We’ll play the video at the most comfortable and intimate time forhim, perhaps after dinner,” Mr Prasertsak said, hoping Chuang Chuang would then use the techniques on Lin Hui, a five-year-old female.
So, these pandas, modelling their behaviour on porn, will start out with some exaggerated tongue kissing, move onto Lin Hui giving Chuang Chuang a blowjob for a while, then switch to a bit of fucking, switching positions several times of course (do pandas do doggy, or is it panda?), each getting more gymnastic than the last, before moving onto some anal, finally pulling out for the money shot. All accompanied by bad music, of course. (And how does the mating start, does Chuang Chuang turn up at the door of their cage dressed as the pizza (bamboo?) delivery boy?)
Not sure they’re going to get baby pandas out of this.
Technorati Tags: panda, porn, zoo
November 12th, 2006 at 1:26 am
There was a recent media story about the self awareness elephants have when looking into a mirror. Advanced primates also recognise themselves. Without this awareness, I doubt the showing of porn will work.
November 12th, 2006 at 2:46 am
You have it all wrong…. the Panda turns up to clean the pool.
November 12th, 2006 at 5:52 am
pmsl… don’t forget the accompanying dialogue… lots of “oooh, yeah” and so forth… Chuang Chuang may need another male panda to high five with during sex, of course.
November 12th, 2006 at 2:01 pm
Would there also be the obligatory porn moustache and afro? Do the naughty little panda sluts get spanked with bamboo? And what sort of f*cking drugs are the Thai on?!!
November 14th, 2006 at 5:41 pm
gawddddd…. now i feel like a cigarette