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- March 9, 2007
Valuable lessons
Three valuable lessons we should take note of out of recent news stories.
1. Never sign something unless you read it first
Ask former shadow Attorney-General, Kelvin Thomson. He resigned his position yesterday after it emerged he had signed a reference testifying to the good character of a constituent, Mr Tony Mokbel. Only problem for Thomson was that Mokbel was a leading player in the Melbourne criminal world, and indeed, at the time of giving the reference, Mokbel was busily organising a cocaine shipment from Mexico to Melbourne. Mokbel’s criminal history dates back to the 1980’s, but at the time of writing the reference, Kelvin Thomson was ignorant of this.
Lessons: Read things before you sign them. Also, it helps to actually know the person you’re giving references for.
2. Don’t set your balls on fire
Jared Anderson and Randell Peterson decided it would be a good idea to copy a stunt from Jackass. After watching the movie, Anderson volunteered to do the stunt, so Peterson sprayed lighter fluid on his genitals and set it on fire, after which Anderson ran into the bathroom and jumped into the tub.
I know you’ll find this surprising, but they were drunk when they did this.
Hopefully, Anderson’s burns to his balls have done enough damage to stop him passing on his fuckwit genes.
Lessons: Don’t try this at home. Take heed of the warnings they show at the start of the movie.
(Coincidentally, we watched Jackass 2 last night …very funny, although Johnny Knoxville and co seem to have an unhealthy fascination with each others poo, and playing around with each others naughty bits.
3. Keep your mouth shut, Lisa
Lisa Robertson, the former Qantas hostess, is really desperately eking out every last morsel of “fame” from rooting Ralph Fiennes. She is now crying poor and telling a sob story about how hardly done by she has been. She reportedly is getting $120,000 for selling her story, but her bankruptcy trustee wants the money (she is bankrupt to the tune of $500,000 owing from failed legal action over her previous employment with NSW Police). She also says she was taken advantage of by the English tabloid press. Boo hoo!
Lessons: Shut the fuck up, nobody gives a rats arse. Be careful who you place your trust in. If you get in bed with rats of the press, don’t cry when you get burnt.
One Response to “Valuable lessons”
Re 1, isn’t that what staff are for? If you don’t have the staff, you need to do the checking yourself.
By Andrew on Mar 10, 2007