Merit principle

New Minister for Ageing, Chris Pyne, appointed to replace Santo Santoro after his share trading problems, is obviously in John Howard’s good books. According to the PM, if you:

“apply the merit principle, Mr Pyne’s promotion is well-deserved”.

Which of course begs the question which ministers have been appointed on the merit principle and which have been appointed on other principles or lack thereof? Can’t wait to see the merit vs other reasons list!

Technorati : Chris Pyne, Santo Santoro, merit principle

Another email lesson

A police woman in Victoria is in strife for taking a picture of herself with breasts exposed and emailing it to her boyfriend, also a copper, as a get well message. Now Constable Melissa Scannell may not have been the brightest, doing this while in uniform and with her name tag showing, and may end up subject to disciplinary action. But what about her prick of a boyfriend (presumably ex now) who has forwarded it on to some of his mates … and you can guess what happened from there.

I think what he’s done is worse than her stupidity, and also all those nice policemen who got hold of the picture and passed it on - all of them should be disciplined too before she does.

Clearly Const Scannell is ignorant of the story of Claire Swire, for she did not absorb the lessons from it.

Next question - how long before the photo/s turn up on the internet?

Update (20/3/2007): The answer to that question was, as I would expect, not long. Well sort of. There’s a picture here thats cropped, but you generally get the idea. For the benefit of readers who can’t be bothered following the link, here is the photo.

A bit more information on it from here, including the claim that she had been “stalking” her boyfriend who had dumped her, and forwarding the tits out email was a bit of revenge by him. By the way, the picture there is not her.

Update (23/3/2007): The complete (uncropped) photo of Const Scannell can be found here.

Technorati : Claire Swire, Melissa Scannell, Victoria Police, email forwarding, topless photos

Just way, way too much information

It turns out our favourite former air hostess had a second job as a prostitute. Lisa Robertson had worked at the Gateway Club in Petersham and Stiletto in Sydney, as “Skye” at the former and “Kendall” at the latter. Someone gave her a good testimonial for her “Skye” persona …presumably a co-worker or a customer:

Her going rate was $285/hour, so Ralph Fiennes I suppose got a free gift valued at say $50.

Thanks for this information, Lisa. Now fuck off and never been seen or heard in the media ever ever again!

PS: $285 ….ha, ha, ha ….got to be kidding?

Technorati : Lisa Robertson, escort, prostitute, sex worker

Way too much information

Pauline Hanson has a book to flog, so we get to learn the essential news that she screwed David Oldfield, her former advisor.

Thanks Pauline, I’m sure we couldn’t have lived without this vital piece of knowledge.

Update (19/3/2007): Oldfield, of course, denies it.

“I DID not have sex with that woman.”

he said. And then went on to say:

“And Pauline does not have a dress or anything else that I left a stain of mine on,”

Technorati : David Oldfield, Pauline Hanson

Zoo

Took the kids to visit Taronga Zoo in Sydney today. Good fun, very interesting and all that, but they sure don’t miss any opportunity to extract money from you. What is it with places like this that once you’re inside the gates, prices of food and drink seem to experience much higher rates of inflation than the world outside?

On the plus side, the free flight bird show is very good, and the zoo is in a beautiful setting.

2 Bricks

I thought this was funny. Brauer College in Warrnambool, Victoria has a “2 bricks” rule. This means boys and girls are supposed to stay at least the length of 2 bricks away from each other at school. No kissing and cuddling for these students.

Technorati : 2 bricks rule, Warrnambool, school rules

Inexperience vs proven incompetence

Which is worse? The Federal Government has been trying to paint Kevin Rudd and the Labor opposition as lacking the experience and judgement to govern Australia. The attacks on Rudd for his meetings with Brian Burke, and over the stupid reference written by former opposition front bencher Kelvin Thomson are designed to cast doubts on their integrity, judgement, character and competence.

But isn’t this a dangerous comparison for the government to draw? After all the competence (and judgement and integrity) of some senior government ministers is highly doubtful after some of the things they’ve happily presided over. Witness the AWB scandal… Alexander Downer and Mark Vaile (and their advisers and public servants) hardly conveyed the impression of being on top of their portfolios (let alone being even barely competent). Likewise Philip Ruddock achieved huge successes at Immigration during his spell there, didn’t he?

So seemingly, the government thinks Labor’s potential incompetence is worse than its own proven incompetence.

It seems the voters aren’t buying it, given latest opinion polling results, which show Labor 61-39 on a 2 party preferred basis. There’s a long way to go until the election, but I’d say that John Howard really needs a big rabbit to pull out of his hat if he’s to avoid defeat. (another Tampa, Bali bombing, Iran, major league scandal in ALP ranks?).

Technorati : AWB, Alexander Downer, Brian Burke, John Howard, Kelvin Thomson, Kevin Rudd, Labor, Liberals, Mark Vaile, Philip Ruddock, opinion polls

Don’t use the V word

Vagina that is. 3 girl students in New York got into trouble at their school for using the word vagina during a reading from the play “The Vagina Monologues”, after being told by teachers not to.

Elan Stahl, one of the three students, said the girls were not looking to challenge the school during their performance but felt frustrated that officials would ask them to censor the play.

“Our aim was not to get in trouble,” Stahl told AFP.

“We want to put the word (vagina) out there and make people comfortable with using it.

“If they can just admit that the word vagina shouldn’t have been censored because it’s not lewd or obscene … then that apology would be gladly accepted,“ she said.

Technorati : censorship, prudishness, vagina

Valuable lessons

Three valuable lessons we should take note of out of recent news stories.

1. Never sign something unless you read it first

Ask former shadow Attorney-General, Kelvin Thomson. He resigned his position yesterday after it emerged he had signed a reference testifying to the good character of a constituent, Mr Tony Mokbel. Only problem for Thomson was that Mokbel was a leading player in the Melbourne criminal world, and indeed, at the time of giving the reference, Mokbel was busily organising a cocaine shipment from Mexico to Melbourne. Mokbel’s criminal history dates back to the 1980’s, but at the time of writing the reference, Kelvin Thomson was ignorant of this.

Lessons: Read things before you sign them. Also, it helps to actually know the person you’re giving references for.

2. Don’t set your balls on fire

Jared Anderson and Randell Peterson decided it would be a good idea to copy a stunt from Jackass. After watching the movie, Anderson volunteered to do the stunt, so Peterson sprayed lighter fluid on his genitals and set it on fire, after which Anderson ran into the bathroom and jumped into the tub.

I know you’ll find this surprising, but they were drunk when they did this.

Hopefully, Anderson’s burns to his balls have done enough damage to stop him passing on his fuckwit genes.

Lessons: Don’t try this at home. Take heed of the warnings they show at the start of the movie.

(Coincidentally, we watched Jackass 2 last night …very funny, although Johnny Knoxville and co seem to have an unhealthy fascination with each others poo, and playing around with each others naughty bits.

3. Keep your mouth shut, Lisa

Lisa Robertson, the former Qantas hostess, is really desperately eking out every last morsel of “fame” from rooting Ralph Fiennes. She is now crying poor and telling a sob story about how hardly done by she has been. She reportedly is getting $120,000 for selling her story, but her bankruptcy trustee wants the money (she is bankrupt to the tune of $500,000 owing from failed legal action over her previous employment with NSW Police). She also says she was taken advantage of by the English tabloid press. Boo hoo!

Lessons: Shut the fuck up, nobody gives a rats arse. Be careful who you place your trust in. If you get in bed with rats of the press, don’t cry when you get burnt.

Technorati : Jackass, Kelvin Thomson, Lisa Robertson, Melbourne, Tony Mokbel, balls on fire, cocaine, crime, drugs

Gutter politics - Canberra style (Cigarette butts, dog turds and wasted life)

I mean in the local government here, not the big house on Capital Hill.

Chief Minister Jon Stanhope went feral yesterday, attacking Liberal MLA Brendan Smyth for running a campaign of smear and innuendo against him. This stems from questions about Stanhope’s whereabouts on the night before the 2003 Canberra bushfires, which Stanhope has not been prepared to answer in other than vague terms until now. Allegedly Stanhope was uncontactable that night, with fires approaching Canberra, and Smyth and the Opposition have questioned where he was and with who. Of course, his unwillingness to be definite about it, has led to rumours (which I must admit I’d not heard till today) suggesting he may have been attending to a little personal business with someone other than his wife. Now he has given more details, saying he was at a dinner with his wife, a priest and a magistrate. (Now if someone was to concoct an alibi, that company would be hard to beat.)

What was golden about the debate yesterday was some of the insults Stanhope threw at Smyth, for example, he called Mr Smyth a “despicable little man” with a “dirty mind” who belonged in the gutter and then went on to say:

“He likes it there, down with the cigarette butts and the dog turds and the wasted life,”

and called Smyth:

“Mr Slimeball from Tuggeranong”.

Technorati : ACT Legislative Assembly, Brendan Smyth, Jon Stanhope, cigarette butts, dog turds, gutter politics