Wanking above and beyond the call of duty

Daniel Peter Blair, of Brisbane, must be one of the most determined wankers on the planet.  He turned up at a woman friend’s house one day last year, and began masturbating while in the shower.  After his shower, he went into the bedroom and continued his “masturbation marathon”, while rolling around on the woman’s bed.  He returned to the bathroom for more and was busted by his friend, who was attempting to bath her three-and-a-half year-old daughter.

Mr Blair refused her repeated requests to stop, prompting her to fetch a knife from the kitchen which she used to stab him twice in the left shoulder.  The woman, Kylie Louise Wilson, pleaded guilty to one count each of unlawful wounding and wilful damage.

Crown prosecutors said Mr Blair paused only to put on his shorts and flee outside to wait for police to arrive, but was again overcome by the urge.  According to the prosecutor:

“Despite his injury, it seems (Mr Blair) continued to masturbate while in the garage,”

Police took him to hospital where he received treatment for the minor stab wounds.

The judge accepted the Crown’s submission that Wilson had been subjected to “grossly offensive conduct … which in a moral sense amounts to extreme provocation.”

He sentenced her to nine months’ jail but ordered that she be immediately released on parole.

In other news about the hazards of sex, this is a warning to be careful while screwing with co-workers on the roof of the office building.  A taxi driver in Columbia, South Carolina, found the naked bodies of a man and woman, in their early 20’s, on the road early one morning.  The fact that their clothes were found on the roof of the building has led police to speculate that the couple were having sex on the rooftop.