Desperate famewhores

There are people who will do anything for their 5 minutes of fame.  Even sadder are those who will scrape the bottom of the barrel to try to maintain it.  Warwick Capper, the former AFL player for the Sydney Swans, is a particularly sad case of a minor celebrity desperately trying to hang onto even the slimmest bit of whatever fame he once had.

Since finding fame with the Sydney Swans in the 1980s - at one stage becoming the highest-paid player in the AFL - Capper’s fortunes have been on the slide as he tried anything to maintain a public profile. He has been a stripper, a Gold Coast meter man, a lollipop man and a stay-at-home dad. Capper recently announced he would stand as a candidate for mayor in next March’s Gold Coast council elections.

He has now made a porn movie with his 25-year-old Gold Coast girlfriend Kristy and sold it for a “six-figure sum” to an adult film distributor.

The rather sadly deluded Capper had this to say about himself and his film making exploits:

“I’ve had a lot of practice being a sex symbol so if you’ve got it, flaunt it,” 

“It’s every man’s fantasy. I think I’m Australia’s answer to Paris Hilton. Someone also said I am like David Beckham.

“I’m a good-looking footballer with the same quick wit.”

Errr. Warwick, you were a footballer about 20 years ago.  Isn’t it time to move on?

Equally deluded is the guy who bought the film.  He reckoned the tape could fetch him up to $1m … and he supposedly paid a “six figure sum” for it.  He had these things to say about it:

“That is an hour and nine minutes of non-stop action.
“I’ve had some offers so far, but at the end of the day I want more than what I paid.
“There is a company over there (in America) that I’m dealing with at the moment.
“But I’m just waiting on the bench because once everyone knows about it they are all going to come running.
“I’m sure it’s going to collect over the $800,000 to $900,000 mark.
“At the end of the day his name says it all, and porno would be the next word I could think of.
“Warwick Capper’s gone XXX.”

Lets think about that.  Name recognition for Warwick Capper in the US … approximately zero. Care factor … same.  Sorry to say, if the guy’s really paid a “six figure sum” I hope that includes the decimal point and the 2 digits after it, because I think he’s done his dough.

Check out the professionalism of the Capper marketing organisation … the url for his website even spells his name wrong.

While on the subject of former sports people desperately trying to hang onto fame, there’s another recently retired blond one who I can see going down the same path as Capper.  Not much of a leap from SMS sex to videoing it on the phone, and that leaking onto the internet.