How to massively increase traffic to your blog

Take this advice and write a post along these lines.

“Tom Cruise in his next movie plays the part of a Nazi cryogenically frozen since the end of WW2. Thawed out from his frozen existence, he joins the Taliban in Afghanistan, having forgone the glories of Adolf Hitler and the thousand year reich to support Islamist terrorism, which he has fallen in love with. While in Afghanistan, Cruise shows he has lost none of his proficiency in the arts of war, actively participating in car bomb attacks on the infidel invaders. Next stop Iraq, but before going there, he takes advantage of the number one crop in Afghanistan, opium, and scores himself a few kilos of heroin to sell to raise funds for the Al-Qaeda cause. On the side he scores some marijuana to help him relax during the trip to Iraq. And, by the way, between being unfrozen and turning up with the Taliban in Afghanistan, he notices a few wrinkles on his face, and drops into a friendly plastic surgeon to get a bit of Botox treatment. Plus, along the way he meets the love of his life, Britney Spears, and her mates Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, and gets a bit of foursome sex action (with a bit of help from viagra), which naturally is filmed so they can all enjoy a bit of home made porn.

And, added bonus, he gets to see Hermione Granger nude … yep absolutely stark naked.”

Oh yes, because the US is the biggest market for movies, I’d better add this to the pitch.

“After his unfreezing, he also celebrated too much and ended up with a massive hangover, which he tried to cure by eating a stack of burritos”