People who should not be allowed to breed, part 8,436

Two parents who had split up about a year ago, recently went to the Family Court to ask for a ruling on where their 7 year old daughter’s birthday party should be held and who should be invited. Her dad wanted to celebrate at McDonald’s with gifts, balloons, his relatives, his new partner - and their seven-month-old baby girl. Her mum wanted it to be on familiar ground at her daughter’s usual play centre, with no relatives.

It took a judge, three barristers, three solicitors and a day in court at an estimated $30,000 to work out where the girl should celebrate her seventh birthday.

The parents have been before the court “a number of times” since they split up early last year. Last appearance, in December, the judge ordered they both undergo “therapeutic counselling”. They ignored this, didn’t do the counselling and so ended up back in court over the birthday party.

Personally I’d say put the little girl into care, and tell mum and dad to grow up, and then we’ll think about custody arrangements, and when we’ve shown we’re all grown up and mature, you can have her back.

Family law experts yesterday slammed parents who tie up valuable court time with “trivial” matters. Michael Taussig QC said if somebody came to him asking to run a case in court about a birthday, he would tell them to see a psychiatrist. (Unfortunately, I’m sure most lawyers would happily take the money and run the case.)

“Unfortunately the Family Court has to deal with dysfunctional people constantly and this is just one example,” he said.