How to tell if you’re really drunk
Now the folks at the ever helpful NSW Office of Liquor and Gaming have produced an ever so useful list of the signs of intoxication. There are 39 of them. They issued these guidelines to club and hotel managers to assist them in fulfilling their responsible service of alcohol responsibilities.
So, here for your enlightenment and education are the 39 signs of being pissed. If you want to avoid being refused service, learn to fake your way around them. Alternatively just drink at one of the 90% plus of bars that don’t worry about RSA too much (after all many of them would go broke if they didn’t serve drunks).
The 39 signs of drunkenness are:
1. Slurring words
2. Rambling or unintelligible conversation
3. Incoherent or muddled speech
4. Loss of train of thought
5. Not understanding normal conversation
6. Difficulty in paying attention
7. Unsteady on feet
8. Swaying uncontrollably
9. Staggering
10. Difficulting walking straight
11. Cannot stand or falling down
12. Stumbling
13. Bumping into or knocking over furniture and people
14. Lack of co-ordination
15. Spilling drinks
16. Dropping drinks
17. Fumbling change
18. Difficulty counting money or paying
19. Difficulty opening doors
20. Inability to find one’s mouth with a glass
21. Rudeness
22. Agression
23. Belligerent
24. Argumentative
25. Offensive
26. Bad tempered
27. Physically violent
28. Loud or boisterous
29. Confused
30. Disorderly
31. Exuberance
32. Using offensive language
33. Annoying or pestering others
34. Overly friendly
35. Loss of inhibition
36. Inappropriate sexual advances
37. Drowsiness or sleeping at a bar or table
38. Vomiting
39. Drinking rapidly
Personally I find #20 the best guide. That, and unconsciousness.
Cheers, and make good use of this valuable guidance.
Technorati Tags: alcohol, drunkeness, intoxication, responsible service of alcohol
July 6th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
i regularly meet the criteria for 2, 4, 6, 14,21, 25, 28, 32, 34… i must be drunk ALL the time
July 6th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
40. Accepting inappropriate sexual advances
July 6th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
The 1# item is the most obvious among my drunk friends hehe..
July 10th, 2008 at 6:11 am
How much did they pay the person to come up with this list? How did they do their research? Number 19 is good…reminds me of the movie “Signs”. The aliens had difficulty opening doors. Wait, could they have been drunk??
July 20th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
I have a lot of these right NOW, but it’s because I’m really REALLY tired.
Six in the morning.
Stayed awake all night.
Yawn.