Rubber dolly follies

This is another of those only in Queensland stories.

Someone has broken into a sex shop in Cairns twice recently and stolen inflatable sex dolls and other toys.  

The owner of the adult shop said that in a first unreported break-in, the doll-snatcher had stolen five dolls and had sex with one of them.  He said:

“He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley,”

and in two statements which must already be contenders for understatement of the year:

“It is totally bizarre

“It is a real concern that someone like that is out on the street.”

 

He said a sex toy also went missing in the second break-in and that the offender had a liking for the doll model named "Jungle Jane", which had been taken on both occasions.

However, police are on the weirdo’s tail, because he left his DNA on a doll (ewwww!!) and possible fingerprints on its face along with three other inflatable dolls and lubricants.

And the object of his affections, here:

junglejane 

Hmmm, I reckon it would be like screwing a beach ball …. but whatever floats his boat I guess.

PS – the picture shown was taken after he gave her a love bite – problem is she farted and flew out the window.

 

Pure bogan gold from the wild, wild west

Hot weather and alcohol are being attributed as the causes of a wild brawl out in Sydney’s southwest, to be exact the suburb of Rosemeadow, near Campbelltown.

One man was shot in the back, another in the buttocks, four were stabbed and one had head wounds. Those involved last night were aged between 16 and 52.  Knives, baseball bats, axes and a gun were used.  A police riot squad attended the scene with a helicopter and dog squad members, but no arrests were made (does this mean street brawls are business as usual in Rosemeadow?)

One resident said last night’s violence followed a feud between two groups of youths – one from Dickens Road and the other from the streets around Macbeth Way. Another resident of Macbeth Way said the larger brawl started after a one-on-one fight at the top of the street.  One of those involved was a teen from Macbeth Way and another, an older man, was from a nearby street, he said. The younger boy knocked the older man to the ground, which the older man resented, so came back with others and took it out on the young boys.

Another resident said there were regularly fights in the street involved bats and sticks, but the use of guns last night was an "escalation".   What next, Uzis at 30 paces?

Apart from the drunken violence approach to inter-family disputes, some other things about this struck me as pure bogan:

  • 37 year old grandmothers
  • backyards with bull terriers in them (this was on the TV news tonight)

I’m sure if we get a closer look at this neighbourhood there will be additional treats like old car bodies lying around in front yards, and when it goes to court I’m absolutely certain we will be treated with some good bogan names.

 

He lit her fuse, so she lit his too

Rajini Narayan of Adelaide found her husband was having an affair.  This set her off in a big way.  She allegedly poured petrol over his genitals and set them on fire as he slept.  However, things got out of hand.  Mr Narayan, his wife and their three children fled the fire, which spread to the rest of the home, damaged a neighbouring property and caused about $1 million damage.

Mr Narayan suffered burns to 85 per cent of his body and died in the Royal Adelaide Hospital 20 days after being set alight.

it was alleged by the prosecutor that Mrs Narayan was heard outside the house saying that her husband loved another woman and was having an affair, and that she said:

"His penis should belong to me. I wanted to burn his penis so it didn’t belong to anyone else.” 

and

 "it was just his penis I wanted to burn”

and that she did not mean for "anything like this” to happen.

Mrs Narayan has been charged with her husband’s murder.  Unsurprisingly, her bail application has been adjourned  so that a psychiatrist can prepare a report on her mental state.