The main news story of the week here has not been the global financial crisis, nor the Federal budget, no, nothing as insignificant as those.  Rather its been the scandal over the involvement of former National Rugby League footballer, and now media personality Matthew Johns, for his participation in a gang bang with 10 or so of his team mates and a 19 year old woman back in 2002 when his team, the Cronulla Sharks, were on a trip to New Zealand.

I’ll leave aside for now my thoughts on the specific story of Johns and what happened in Christchurch that night 7 years ago – I may post about it sometime later – but I do want to draw your attention to this brilliant article by Annabel Crabb which I think sums up the fun of a gang bang perfectly.   The highlights for me include:

On the idea that group sex among sporting teams is a team building exercise –

The closest thing I’ve heard to a justification is that it’s some sort of complicated team building exercise.

Perhaps that’s true, although if it was team building, it’s obviously failed, seeing that at least half a dozen unnamed blokes from the room that night seem fairly happy for Johns to take the rap – to a devastating extent – for everything they did.

Where are those guys?

Where’s that famous team spirit?

On the motivation for gang bangs –

ask the obvious question.

Which is: Why would a group of blokes come together, as if drawn by some invisible gravitational force, and gather in a room to masturbate with each other?

What do we ordinarily call that behaviour?

Much criticism has been made that the players who engage in "bunning" are exploiting these girls for bestial sexual purposes.

I don’t know.

Those girls are being used all right, but I reckon they’re being used as beards to disguise the otherwise perfectly obvious, screaming queerness of what’s going on.

Come on. Are you kidding?

Let’s say it out loud: it’s the gayest thing ever.

And putting it all in context –

these are the same blokes who can’t wait to climb into dresses for stunts on The Footy Show. Don’t think we’re not putting two and two together.

So come on, chaps.

If you want to get together and celebrate your oiled, toned bodies in the celebrated Greek tradition, then go ahead.

Just leave the ladies out of it, will you, and do us all a favour?

Absolutely beautiful!  Funny and cuts to the chase.