Monthly Archives: October 2010

Man with 16 inch penis not happy

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Some people are never satisfied, you might say.  However, it’s not what it seems.

A 21-YEAR-OLD Bundamba man faces court after he allegedly tattooed an unwanted lewd image and slogan on his mate’s back – that image being a 40 cm (16”) penis along with a slogan suggesting the man was gay.  With mates like that, who needs enemies?

Police allege the man, who was not a professional tattooist, talked his friend into having the tattoo while the friend was visiting him at home.   They allege the tattooing followed a disagreement between the pair that culminated with the Bundamba man taking offence at something the victim said. 

According to the detective handling the matter:

“Apparently he went round to the other bloke’s house and somehow in the course of the conversation the subject of tattoos came up,”

“The victim wasn’t interested at first but he was talked into it and he said he wanted a Yin and Yang symbol with some dragons.

“He rolled him on to his stomach and the bloke started doing the tattoo and there was another bloke standing there watching saying, ‘Mate, it’s looking really good’.

“He was told not to go out into the sun and not to show anyone for a few weeks.

“When he got home he showed it to the person he lives with and she said: ‘I don’t think it’s the tattoo you were after’.”

Now I’d question the wisdom of allowing anyone, let alone a friend with who you’d had an argument to let them tattoo you – mind you, I think 99% of tattoos are shit, and that all those people who deface their bodies are going to grow up some day and regret it.  Anyway, I’m guessing the friendship between these guys involved a fair amount of substance abuse.

To add insult to injury, he was allegedly punched and thrown out of the Bundamba man’s house after he was tattooed.

The tattooist is scheduled to appear in Ipswich Magistrates Court on November 15. He was charged with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one charge relating to the Public Safety Act.  (You just knew this had to have happened in some super boganistic place like Ipswich).

The subject of his art faces an expensive and painful removal of the tattoo – estimated to cost up to $2,000.

Ouch!

Eighty Five Dollars

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This is apparently the amount that women believe is appropriate to be spent taking them on a first date.

This was the finding of a survey of 1015 people between the ages of 18 and 69 conducted by ING Direct earlier this month.

Men are clearly overestimating the object of their affection’s expectations – they thought about $108 was the right amount for a first date.  The women surveyed said they felt uncomfortable when men spent too much on a first date.

But be warned, don’t go cheap, as spending less than $27 was considered too little.

Following your dream

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I read the story of Dharam Veer today and felt it is one I should share.  It spells out to me how wonderful sport can be, and even more so, how wonderful India and its people can be.

Dharam is ballboy for the Indian cricket team.  He helps them at training, chasing balls around, and throwing them back “with one of the finest throwing arms to bless a man”.  He is friends with many of the team, and travels around with them when they are playing. 

About his job with the team, he says:

”This makes me very happy.

”I have this life now, and this is what I will do forever. I love cricket, I have always loved it, I want to play and practise all the time, help the team, I cannot do anything other than this. It is what I am supposed to do.”

Dharam-Veer-420x0

What is truly remarkable about Dharam is that he contracted polio at 18 months old, and the disease left him immobile from the waist down.  For the past 16 years he has used the hands and arms, that he uses to catch the balls and throw them, to walk on.  On concrete, mud, grass, buses, rickshaws, he places one hand over the other to make his way in the world, dragging behind him the deformed legs that refuse to walk.

At 19, Dharam is living a relative high life. As a bona fide member of the Indian side he travels and stays with them, is helped financially by the players, and has developed quite a following. He is also captain of India’s disabled cricket team.  Through sheer enthusiasm for cricket, he has managed to weave himself into one of the most tightly protected sports teams in the world. He is no longer an outsider, either, and the players treat him like family.  It could be so different for him, as India has numerous polio victims who struggle through life and are often wondering where their next meal is coming from.

Dharam has played cricket since he can remember, and can tell you the story of his highest score for India all day long. ”I made 175,” he says. He sat on a chair and dispatched bowling to all corners, much like his heroes Sachin Tendulkar and Virender Sehwag.

Such is his dedication, that he made a 36 hour-trip from his home town of Gwalior in Madhya Pradesh to Bangalore for the second Test, on buses and tuk-tuks. He says:

”I miss my family, but I always call my mother, father, sister, talk to them at night,”

”This makes me very happy.

I contrast his spirit and determination with some of the complaining that went on over the Commonwealth Games in Delhi recently – like the athletes’ village not being clean enough, toilets being blocked, the little organisational glitches that were happening.  At the time I was thinking “get over it precious, this is India”.  India is a wonderful, if chaotic, country, and there are countless examples of people like Dharam Veer who do carve out their own slice of the “good life” in the face of whatever adversity they run into on the way to it.

Dick pics

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Here’s a novel crime.  Burgle people’s houses, steal their mobile phones, take photos of your dick and then send them to the phone owners’ contacts.

That’s what Shane Willis, a 33 year old Melbourne man did.  In court this week he pleaded guilty to more than 60 charges that included aggravated burglary, theft and using a carriage service to menace.

Rather unsurprisingly, when asked by police to explain his actions, Willis said:

"I’ve been off me head for a while … so … on drugs, so I couldn’t tell you what I’ve done."

He also admitted he had been "running amok" and doing "stupid things".

Spring

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Went for a walk around the Floriade festival today.  As always, it is full of pretty flowers – although I find it a bit tired and same old, same old year after year … hence I tend to go only every second or third year.