About Ian

I'm in my 50's, living in beautiful sunny Canberra, Australia's capital city. Married, with 2 kids. Somewhat quirky, some would say black, sense of humour. Probably too much of a cynic, a bit of a sarcastic bastard. This blog is for my musings, rantings and ravings about any old crap that attracts my attention.

Squoobs

Terrible, isn’t this?  Women squeezing themselves into 18th century-style corset gowns to make their waists appear smaller.

800106-christina-hendricks

The result, boobage overflowing at the top of the dress.  The term “Squoobs” has been coined to describe this, short for “squashed boobs”.  Looks fine to me, but I’d imagine its damn uncomfortable.

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And just for good measure, here’s another one of Christina Hendricks.

christina

Is it just me, or is she looking a bit lopsided?

I’m listening to Hunters & Collectors – Tender

Cut throat competition

Business is very competitive, cut throat being one way to describe it.

The fountain business in Sydney seems to have been, more so than most.

It is alleged that the proprietor of one such business applied a very harsh “no compete” provision on an employee who left the business to set up his own company.  It is alleged in court that Dirk Slotboom was angry at his former colleague, Richard Carruthers, for "stealing" some of his former clients, including the lucrative contract for the City of Sydney council. This contract included the maintenance of such fountains as the water feature next to St Mary’s Cathedral in the Sydney CBD.

After sending several legal letters warning Mr Carruthers off, Mr Slotboom arranged through business associates for his rival to be " bashed" for a fee of $30,000.  Fadi "Ricky" Shamoun allegedly took up the offer and paid Mr Carruthers a visit at home.  During a struggle with Carruthers, Shamoun allegedly stabbed him in the back with a long-bladed knife, killing him.

I suppose that is one way to reduce competition – only problem is it tends to remove yourself as well as your rivals from business.  I imagine its quite hard to run a business like this from a prison cell for the next 20 years or so.

I’m listening to Powderfinger – Wishing On The Same Moon

Cricket is a deadly serious business

Certainly is in Bangladesh.  A 15 year old boy ran on the field during a game there to dispute the umpire’s decision.  The umpire got pissed off about this, grabbed one of the players’ bats and hit the boy around the head. 

The boy showed no serious injury from the blow during the game on Friday but had an internal haemorrhage overnight and died in hospital the next day. 

Police are looking for the umpire, who has gone into hiding.

I’m guessing there won’t be any arguing whether you hit the ball or not, or whether the ball pitched in line or anything with this umpire from now on.

I’m listening to The Waifs – Moses And The Lamb

Junk food cravings

Some people take their junk food seriously.  Especially in New Zealand it seems.

Two men walked into a petrol station near Auckland. One of them went to the pie warmer, picked up several pies and placed one inside his jacket. He then asked the attendant if he could have one pie for free but was told he would have to pay for all of them.   He storms off in a huff, then goes off and talks to his mate in the car outside, and decides he really does want his free pies.  But the attendant has locked the doors of the shop. 

The man returned to the car where he and his friend decided they would find another way to enter the store. They drove the car through the door, one of them picks up his pies off the counter and they do a runner.  A police chase followed, ended with them running over some police road spikes.

Seriously, a service station pie.  These guys have an instant insanity defence.  When has anyone ever had a decent servo pie.  Soggy, lukewarm, meatless, yes, but decent eating, never.

pies

And in related junk food cravings news, also in New Zealand, a man flew into a rage after staff at a Wendy’s restaurant mucked up his order. He allegedly smashed tills, flipped tables and assaulted a police officer who responded to the incident. After being apprehended he was taken to hospital to be treated for injuries he had suffered during the arrest.

This one is more understandable.  I mean who hasn’t felt like throttling the idiot teenager who screws up their order at a takeaway.  I get pissed off with repeating orders twice or more, thinking to myself  “do I not speak English?” or “fuck you, listen” or “maybe if you concentrated on your job you wouldn’t fuck my order up”.

I’m listening to The Living End – Song For The Lonely

Damn hot!

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It’s been damn hot here, too.

Only one thing wrong with that sign, the beer is XXXX.  But beggars can’t be choosers, so they say.  (also, wouldn’t 0.2 degrees make it more of a beer slushie than a drink?)

Who, me?

Had to laugh at this one.

art-croc2-420x0

A crocodile at a wildlife park in New South Wales, Australia, grabbed a lawnmower from workmen during routine park maintenance and dragged it into his pool.

The five-metre crocodile (his name is Elvis) had charged staff at the Australian Reptile Park at Gosford after they went into its enclosure about 8am today. The men – who used their lawnmowers as a barrier when the crocodile lunged – managed to escape unharmed.

A rescue mission was mounted a few hours later to retrieve the mower, which Elvis had dragged underwater.

I reckon Elvis is being falsely accused over this.  I mean look at his halo, which can be clearly seen in the photo.

And no way would I ever have gone in to rescue the mower.  No matter how distracted the crocodile was.  A long rope and a grappling hook would have had to do the job for me.  Or else Elvis could keep it – he might need to mow the bottom of his pool every now and then.

OK, drugs are bad for you … more proof

Namely, methamphetamine.  Ask Robert Edwards De Shields, and his landlords’ pet chihuahua puppy.

In March the owners found the dog almost lifeless, in pain and in shock, with De Shields in the garage.  A veterinarian later found traces of asphyxiation, as well as serious injuries to the animal’s rectum and internal organs.

We can all figure out what he did to the dog.  No doubt it involved him getting dog shit on his dick.

The chihuahua was only able to survive thanks to intensive medical care.

De Shields was high on methamphetamine at the time.  He is a long term drug abuser and criminal. In the last 19 to 20 years, he has only been free from jail or monitoring by the authorities for about five months.

He got 10 years jail for rooting the dog.  In an unusual move for an animal cruelty case, De Shields was also required to register as a lifetime sex offender, meaning he will have to wear an electronic surveillance device and keep a distance from schools and other places where children gather.

A chihuahua, really?

chihuahua

Mind you, a cute little puppy was probably an upgrade for De Shields.

Dog Rooter

I doubt he was likely to get an actual (living) human to ever shag him. 

Ye Olde Farte

I think that having my eldest child move out of home to go live in another state makes me officially an old fart.

A year and a half or so ago, I thought she’d be living at home till she was about 30, but she fell in love and has upped and left home as of today.

But I got custody of the dog.  Win!!!

Oh fuck! Minister swears on TV

Outrage! Shock! Horror!

The minister in charge of Australia’s broadcasting standards has dropped the F-word live on national television during children’s viewing hours. Communications Minister Stephen Conroy was answering an AAP question about the risk for investment in Australia at the National Press Club in Canberra that was being shown live on the ABC today. 

His offending remarks:

"In terms of sovereign risk, I love the debate about sovereign risk,”

"I have seen a new definition of sovereign risk, it’s asymmetrical.

"If a tax goes up, God, that is sovereign risk, but if a tax goes down that’s fucking fantastic, excuse me, that is fantastic.”

The opposition later attacked Senator Conroy for making a "sloppy and vulgar" speech at the press club.  No doubt there will be other guardians of all that is good and proper in the world who will be outraged (rather than disappointed, because these days no one is just disappointed, or annoyed, when they don’t like something … no, they are OUTRAGED, at least according to the mainstream media’s view of the world)

I’d actually rather see our politicians drop the occasional F bomb, or do other “normal” things rather than have everything they say scripted and coached, bland and afraid to offend anyone.

Besides, complaining about politicians swearing is akin to complaining about them lying.

PS – this just demonstrates my point from an old post, that “fuck” is the most versatile word in the English language.