">My Big World Of Crap

I’ve been fiddling around with this new blog, adding a header image, playing around with sidebars, widgets etc, and I’m quite happy with it now.  All ready to get back into regular blogging activity ….assuming work lets up a bit (I’ve been working like a dog this last week, finished after 1 am last night).

Also, cleaned out the garage today, roughly 20 years of accumulated junk being despatched to a big rubbish skip to be taken away on Monday.  We now have room in the garage …. to store some of the stuff thats accumulated in the house because we didn’t have room in the garage.

Finally, thanks to Snoskred, who’s hosting my blog and helped me with the Wordpress setup.  I’m beginning to get the hang  of Wordpress, having been exclusively a Blogger user up to now.

I’ve decided its time to make a change, so I’m now in the process of moving my blog from Blogger to Wordpress on my own domain.

I’ll have a new address in a few days time, but the witty, rivetting, fascinating, inspiring, insightful, etc comment (ok, its all really a load of self-indulgent crap) will still be available for all to read.

Clocked up 100k visitors today.

Looking through how people found me here, the more popular searches have been:

• Hermione (Granger) nude, Harry Potter porn, Harry and Hermione nude, Hermione pussy: still plenty of interest. I’m not so sure of the chances of finding a picture of Harry and Hermione, after all Hermione and Ron were a couple not Hermione and Harry - try Hermione and Ron, or Harry and Ginny, depending on who you’re actually after
• vagina - popular as always
• breasts - in many variations, such as tits out, bare tits, breast sizes, f-cup, Australian cleavages, e cup breasts, and bit tits
• the cops still haven’t caught up with the pedophiles out there - 10 year old pussy, pedo sex, 10 year old sex, all featuring again. Child models may also be within the sphere of interest of these searchers
• nude celebrities are always popular, eg Britney Spears tits, britney tits, Paris Hilton naked, Christie Clarke nude (who’s she?)
• Candice Falzon and Sonny Bill Williams toilet escapades
• small dicks - continue to be of interest to many
• pooh also seems to fascinate many - poop, crapping and women crapping.

Some new drawcards lately have included:

• All Blacks - no doubt on the back of their World Cup failure …. the haka was also interesting to many
• object sex - not sure which objects they are referring to … make your search more specific and you might have more luck (I mean are you interested in toys, fruit and vegetables or what?)
• American football
• girly phones - yep, my Samsung is one.

And the last 10k was racked up in 42 days.

Take this advice and write a post along these lines.

“Tom Cruise in his next movie plays the part of a Nazi cryogenically frozen since the end of WW2. Thawed out from his frozen existence, he joins the Taliban in Afghanistan, having forgone the glories of Adolf Hitler and the thousand year reich to support Islamist terrorism, which he has fallen in love with. While in Afghanistan, Cruise shows he has lost none of his proficiency in the arts of war, actively participating in car bomb attacks on the infidel invaders. Next stop Iraq, but before going there, he takes advantage of the number one crop in Afghanistan, opium, and scores himself a few kilos of heroin to sell to raise funds for the Al-Qaeda cause. On the side he scores some marijuana to help him relax during the trip to Iraq. And, by the way, between being unfrozen and turning up with the Taliban in Afghanistan, he notices a few wrinkles on his face, and drops into a friendly plastic surgeon to get a bit of Botox treatment. Plus, along the way he meets the love of his life, Britney Spears, and her mates Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, and gets a bit of foursome sex action (with a bit of help from viagra), which naturally is filmed so they can all enjoy a bit of home made porn.

And, added bonus, he gets to see Hermione Granger nude … yep absolutely stark naked.”

Oh yes, because the US is the biggest market for movies, I’d better add this to the pitch.

“After his unfreezing, he also celebrated too much and ended up with a massive hangover, which he tried to cure by eating a stack of burritos”

You’ve probably noticed a few changes in my blog template lately. I’ve been looking to give it a different look but so far haven’t been totally happy with what I’ve done to it. I decided I wanted a 3 column look, but the one I had before tonight, with the sunflowers, I wasn’t completely happy with … mainly because the main column was too small and the sidebars too big. So I found this one, which has better proportions. Still not quite right, as there’s a problem with the far right sidebar (see how the second item drops down below the inner right sidebar … clues anyone?) Plus I will probably change the graphic to use my own photos, when I get round to it.

Update (24/09/2007): At least I’ve got the sidebar problem sorted now.

Update (03/11/2007): Finally got around to putting some Canberra photos in the header to replace the car.

If so, there’s lots of people out on the interwebs that are desperate to see them. “Hermione nude” is the most popular search used to get to my blog. I’ve just been looking at my statistics , seeing that as of today there have been 90,000 visits here. Its taken 64 days since 80,000 … a bit of a slowdown compared to what the previous few 10k’s have been taking.

Anyway, as well as disappointing the seekers of nude pictures of Hermione, other things people have come looking for include:

• “10 year old pussy”, “10 year old sex”, “pedo sex” - clearly the police have got their work cut out rounding up all the pedophiles
• “tits out”, “breast sizes”, “f cup”, “brittney spears tits”, “korean cleavage”, “bare tits” - breasts obviously have their fans
• “naked celebrities”- I was right about this.
• “poop”, “women crapping pics”, “poo sculpture” - still plenty of fascination about the brown stuff.
• “maddison gabriel” - she’s made a bit of a late run. I suspect this is related to the first point above.
• “vagina” - several searches for this. Need to be more specific …presumably you’re looking for that of a human female, not a dog, cow, horse, elephant or something else - or you just don’t care as long as its vagina (whoever these searchers were, they are very persistent - there are a lot of search results - 22.6 million - to choose from, and I couldn’t see my blog in the first few pages)

Next trick - 100,000.

The visit counter hit 80 000 this morning. That last 10k took 40 days, slightly more than 60-70k.

What drew people here? Let’s check the biggest hitters from my stats:

• vagina - no, I don’t have one (also someone wanted to see “girls vagina” - as opposed to boy’s?)
• various people nude - Harry Potter, Hermione, Daniel Radcliffe, Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears
• pedo sex - 15 in the last week …you sick fuckers, I could be sending your IP details to the cops
• small dicks and “men with small dicks” - still seems to have a strong niche following
• women crapping, pooping etc - coprophiliacs are alive and well on the net
• the “men of interest” in the Dianne Brimble inquest have a following - Luigi Vitale, Letterio Silvestri, Mark Wilhelm in particular
• breast size
• wanking - always a popular topic
• 10 year old pussy - is someone (well 3 people actually) interested in old-ish cats or is this a combination of points 1 and 3 above?

Why is it that things to do with sex, and in particular, various fetishes and out of the ordinary things to do with sex, are what people are looking for on the net, as opposed to my incisive opinions on politics, observations on sport, movies or music?

Kiddies, keep away from my blog, it has naughty words in it.

The offenders:

• sex (8x)
• crap (6x)
• pain (4x)
• porn (3x)
• dick (2x)
• bastard (1x)

What about all the “fuck”’s I use? Where are they?

Thanks to Melly for the rating thingy.

Another 10,000 visits to my blog, now up to 70 k today. Thats 37 days for the last 10 k. Haven’t had the boost from Candice Falzon and Sonny Bill Williams, or Melissa Scannell this last month or so, to the same extent as in the previous two.

Looking through the things people come looking to my blog for, here’s some highlights:

• there is an inordinate interest in small dicks, with “small dicks”, “small dick”, “men with small dicks”, “pictures of men with small dicks” all featuring in the first page of search terms … this comes from my post about gun nuts a while back
• but at least my readership is balanced in their interests, someone was after “big dick pictures men in 40’s”.
• Sonny Bill and Candice Falzon did attract a few visitors still
• there is plenty of people wanting to see or read about Jessica Rowe (and her boning) and Joanne Lees
• people are still fascinated by shit …”crapping” is popular - someone was looking for “kind girls crapping” - is that somehow different to nasty girls doing it?
• as is “home made porn” and variations on it
• anyone know Penelope Cruz’s breast size … there were 3 visitors looking for that vital fact? Someone also wanted to see Brooke Satchwell’s. And J.K. Rowlings’ pussy!
• not just focusing on women, someone was looking for “men with 2 dicks” (which reminds me of an insult we used to have when I was at school, along the lines of “you must have 2 dicks, you couldn’t have pulled yourself that stupid with only one”)
• anyone know what a “fucking knife” is? Someone wants pictures of them. The mind boggles!
• and for a wide ranging search, try “tell me something I didn’t already know”.

Hit 60 000 on the visit counter this morning. Woo hoo! Only 33 days since 50 k.

Thanks to the inordinate interest of internet users all around the world in seeing Melissa Scannell’s breasts, and more recently, the toilet antics of Sonny Bill Williams and Candice Falzon.