Another of those “Oh Shit!” moments

A couple in the southern Sydney suburb of Miranda yesterday were having a spa bath installed in their newly renovated home.  This required a crane to lift the spa over the house and lower it into the bathroom (which must have been near the back of the house).  Graham and Jacqueline Leech were standing on their back deck guiding the crane driver as he lowered the spa into the bathroom when they noticed it moving too far to the right.    The crane then toppled over  - the boom crashed through the length of the house, lodging in the roof and also ripping down power lines.

The two-bedroom sandstone and weatherboard home - which the couple had nearly finished renovating - was completely destroyed.

Hope everyone is well insured!

Blue Screen of Death - Olympic scale

Is this the biggest BSOD ever?

It occurred during the Olympics opening ceremony last Friday night. One of the computers used to project images onto the roof of the stadium blue screened, and the moment was captured for all to see.

Technorati Tags: Microsoft, Windows XP, blue screen of death, BSOD, Olympics, Beijing

Expensive typos

You do need to be careful with what you type. It can be embarassing - eg working for the “pubic service” instead of the “public service”. And it can be expensive, but I doubt any of us have made a typo as expensive as this one a stockbroker made today in Sydney.

It wiped 85 points off the All Ordinaries index, and 82 points off the S&P/ASX200, prompting fears of a market crash.

The broker sold a series of QBE share parcels at between 0.1 cents and 0.2 cents per share at 2.20pm today, effectively taking the entire $20.2 billion market value of the global insurance giant out of the Australian Securities Exchange. QBE was trading at above $22.85 per share at the time.

Of course, many traders took advantage of this, making offers to buy the shares at 0.2 cents each.

The Stock Exchange immediately suspended QBE shares from trading, and some 9 minutes after the error was made, the Exchange cancelled all trades in QBE shares below $22.20.

Many stockbrokers said they recognised the plunge immediately as an error.

“There will be some red faces but the reality is there are human beings who push buttons,”

“These things are accidental.”

said Howard Elton of Intersuisse Stockbroking.

Mr Elton compared the gaffe to a pilot who overshoots a runway and lands a plane in the dirt.

“It doesn’t do his personal reputation anything great,”

he said.

I’m suspecting the guy who made the mistake went hom immediately to change his underwear, and will lie low for a while, hoping the whole thing will blow over quickly. Maybe he’s hoping for a market crash to happen for real to distract attention of market colleagues from his stuffup.

Technorati Tags: QBE Insurance, Australian Stock Exchange, ASX 200, All Ordinaries index

Baby names - NZ style

I sometimes have a laugh about bogan names people give to their kids. I don’t know what the New Zealand equivalent of bogans is, but there are people there who sure like to call their children all sort of weird shit.

One girl, who lives in New Plymouth on the west coast of the north island, is named “Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii”. Her parents have been ordered by a judge in the Family Court to change it. The court was told that the girl was so mortified by her name that she had not told any of her friends her real name.

The judge said he is appalled by the judgement of some parents in naming their children. He says in NZ there are children named Midnight Chardonnay, Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence.

Wow, I have to wonder how much part hallucogenic chemicals played in these kids’ parents decisions.

Technorati Tags: New Zealand, child names, Talula Does the Hula from Hawaii

Darwin Award, anyone?

Another likely candidate for one.

An 18 year old man in his undies was playing “chicken” with cars on a Melbourne freeway on-ramp when he was hit by a van. He is critically ill in hospital.

Police say they are dismayed at the “utter stupidity” of the 18-year-old and say it was lucky nobody was killed.

Technorati Tags: Darwin Awards, stupid people

How to tell if you’re really drunk

Now the folks at the ever helpful NSW Office of Liquor and Gaming have produced an ever so useful list of the signs of intoxication. There are 39 of them. They issued these guidelines to club and hotel managers to assist them in fulfilling their responsible service of alcohol responsibilities.

So, here for your enlightenment and education are the 39 signs of being pissed. If you want to avoid being refused service, learn to fake your way around them. Alternatively just drink at one of the 90% plus of bars that don’t worry about RSA too much (after all many of them would go broke if they didn’t serve drunks).

The 39 signs of drunkenness are:

1. Slurring words

2. Rambling or unintelligible conversation

3. Incoherent or muddled speech

4. Loss of train of thought

5. Not understanding normal conversation

6. Difficulty in paying attention

7. Unsteady on feet

8. Swaying uncontrollably

9. Staggering

10. Difficulting walking straight

11. Cannot stand or falling down

12. Stumbling

13. Bumping into or knocking over furniture and people

14. Lack of co-ordination

15. Spilling drinks

16. Dropping drinks

17. Fumbling change

18. Difficulty counting money or paying

19. Difficulty opening doors

20. Inability to find one’s mouth with a glass

21. Rudeness

22. Agression

23. Belligerent

24. Argumentative

25. Offensive

26. Bad tempered

27. Physically violent

28. Loud or boisterous

29. Confused

30. Disorderly

31. Exuberance

32. Using offensive language

33. Annoying or pestering others

34. Overly friendly

35. Loss of inhibition

36. Inappropriate sexual advances

37. Drowsiness or sleeping at a bar or table

38. Vomiting

39. Drinking rapidly

Personally I find #20 the best guide. That, and unconsciousness.

Cheers, and make good use of this valuable guidance.

Technorati Tags: alcohol, drunkeness, intoxication, responsible service of alcohol

Woo hoo - I’m not a bogan (officially)!!!

Your result for The Bogan Test…

Paddington Poofter

You are 24% Bogan!

Take The Bogan Test at HelloQuizzy

Found this test via rah.

Seen in my travels today

Sorry, don’t have a photo, so I’ll just have to tell you about it.

Saw a car this morning, with personalised plates saying RICK.

It had L plates. Can’t wait to see how they handle it when they get their P(rovisional) license!

Technorati Tags: car number plates

The patented Todd McKenney pants down defence

After being arrested for possession of the drug, GBH/GHB/fantasy, Todd McKenney (musical theatre actor, and “Dancing With the Stars” judge), told police that he had been at a party, and had danced so much and got too hot, so he took his pants off to cool down so he could continue dancing. While his pants were down, he claims someone else at the party must have put the drug in his pocket.

McKenney was arrested after being found unconscious in a park, and had to be revived by ambulance officers. He has pleaded not guilty to the charge of drug possession. Since his arrest was revealed in April the entertainer and FM radio host, has publicly defended himself, saying that he had been the victim of drink spiking and “tall poppy syndrome” envy by someone who wanted to bring him down.

Everyone repeat after me, Todd, sure we believe you!!!!

Now I’m thinking such a creative defence lends itself to many situations. Lets see:

• homework not done - Sir, I got so hot riding to school I took my pants off to cool down, and my homework was in the pocket and must have got stolen
• missing deadlines at work - Boss, the preso was on my USB key, in my pocket, but it was so hot on the train I took my pants off to cool down, and when I got to the station I must have grabbed someone else’s pants and put them on by mistake
• speeding fines - Officer, I don’t know why I’ve got this ticket. I wasn’t there that day. I can explain what happened, my license was in my pants ……..

Technorati Tags: Todd McKenney, drugs, GHB, GBH, fantasy

Spun out

Remember The Spin Starts Here - the extremely snarky website that took aim at anything and everything. Often very funny, but also often very nasty and relentless in pursuing targets.

There’s a big shitfight going on as the main authors Caz and The Hack fought to protect their real identities and remove their content from the internet.

Despite these efforts to protect their identity and remove any offensive material, their cover was blown last week. The Hack was revealed as Jamie Duncan, a journalist with Australian Associated Press in Melbourne; Caz was named as his partner, Caroline Hamilton, a media adviser to Parks Victoria.

A website called The Lulz Start Here has been devoted to “outing” them and recalling their most scathing blogs. Read it, its well worthwhile if you enjoy reading stories of vengeance being wreaked. Its also pretty damn funny.

The whole thing serves as a reminder to all of us - anonymity on the internet is nearly always only temporary.