Category Archives: weird shit

Cricket is a deadly serious business

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Certainly is in Bangladesh.  A 15 year old boy ran on the field during a game there to dispute the umpire’s decision.  The umpire got pissed off about this, grabbed one of the players’ bats and hit the boy around the head. 

The boy showed no serious injury from the blow during the game on Friday but had an internal haemorrhage overnight and died in hospital the next day. 

Police are looking for the umpire, who has gone into hiding.

I’m guessing there won’t be any arguing whether you hit the ball or not, or whether the ball pitched in line or anything with this umpire from now on.

I’m listening to The Waifs – Moses And The Lamb

OK, drugs are bad for you … more proof

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Namely, methamphetamine.  Ask Robert Edwards De Shields, and his landlords’ pet chihuahua puppy.

In March the owners found the dog almost lifeless, in pain and in shock, with De Shields in the garage.  A veterinarian later found traces of asphyxiation, as well as serious injuries to the animal’s rectum and internal organs.

We can all figure out what he did to the dog.  No doubt it involved him getting dog shit on his dick.

The chihuahua was only able to survive thanks to intensive medical care.

De Shields was high on methamphetamine at the time.  He is a long term drug abuser and criminal. In the last 19 to 20 years, he has only been free from jail or monitoring by the authorities for about five months.

He got 10 years jail for rooting the dog.  In an unusual move for an animal cruelty case, De Shields was also required to register as a lifetime sex offender, meaning he will have to wear an electronic surveillance device and keep a distance from schools and other places where children gather.

A chihuahua, really?

chihuahua

Mind you, a cute little puppy was probably an upgrade for De Shields.

Dog Rooter

I doubt he was likely to get an actual (living) human to ever shag him. 

How big is his dick?

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I must admit to being very sceptical about the truth of this story.  I have a strong suspicion its a hoax.

Wesley Warren Jr has an unfortunate condition – scrotal elephantiasis.  This has caused his scrotum to swell to 45 kg (100 lb).

In what must be the understatement of the year, Mr Warren said:

"It’s not easy to get around,"

He developed the condition about 3 years ago.  How is a bit of a mystery. If Warren lived in the tropics of Africa, Asia, Central and South America, this case of disabling elephantiasis, or gross enlargement of his genitals to elephantoid size, would probably end up being attributed to a mosquito-spread parasitic infection.  However, he lives in Las Vegas, and says he has never travelled to tropical areas outside of the US. And doctors who have examined him have found no trace of the infectious disease.  Warren attributes his condition to an accidental striking of his testicles by his own leg as he twisted and turned upon awakening from a sleep.  He says this was incredibly painful when it happened, but the pain went away quickly – but in the morning, his scrotum had swollen to the size of a soccer ball.   Initially he was treated for an infection, and went to see doctors on and off for some time.  Eventually the swelling became so large he couldn’t work, and so went on disability.

There is however, the hope of surgery to resolve Mr Warren’s condition.  A team of urologists and plastic surgeons would be needed to cut away the excess tissue and to perform the reconstructive surgery that would include skin grafts. Every attempt would be made to save and reconstruct Warren’s penis and testicles, but it was possible that they would have to be completely excised.

In Warren’s words:

"Basically, he was telling me there was a good chance that I would be castrated and have to go to the bathroom through a tube for the rest of my life,"

"I really would like to have a relationship with a woman. I should be in the prime of my life right now."

Fat chance of that I would have thought.

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That supposedly is his scrotum, covered in a hoodie and balanced on a milk crate.

In hopes of getting the money for a possible corrective procedure that doctors have told him can cost about $1 million, Warren swallowed his pride by outing himself recently on shock jock Howard Stern’s national satellite radio and cable TV freak segment.  As you do of course, in the absence of a decent health care system.

As to the question I posed in the heading to this post, with balls that big, you wonder if he’s got a dick about a metre long to go with them.  Well that question is answered – his penis is so buried in his scrotal tissue that he can’t direct his urination and often sprays the area around him.

I must add that my doubts about the credibility of his story are not helped by the email address he is using for his fund raising efforts:

benefitballsack@yahoo.com

Really!

New pool cleaners needed

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I don’t think I’ll ever be going for a swim at the public swimming pool in Fall River, Massachusetts any time.  The operators obviously kept on top of their pool cleaning, so much so that the "murky and cloudy" water concealed the body of a drowned woman for two days while people swam there.

The body of Marie Joseph was submerged at the bottom of the 3.6-metre deep end of the pool from Sunday afternoon until Tuesday night.  Her body was only discovered after it floated to the surface shortly before some kids snuck into the pool for a late night swim on Tuesday night.

Initial investigations show the water in the pool was murky from the time the pool opened for the season last Saturday. Visibility tests conducted on Wednesday revealed a diver couldn’t be seen at a depth of up to 1.2 metres below the surface of the water.

The Department of Conservation and Recreation, which runs the pool, immediately closed all 30 deep-water swimming pools under its control.  Some have since reopened after inspectors found they met required safety standards.  Others will reopen once inspections are complete.  But the pool at Fall River won’t be reopening any time soon – the entire staff has been suspended from duty.

I’m actually surprised that the victim was able to drown in the pool – all the murk and scum must have just about been thick enough to keep her on top of the water.

Try pissing in the toilet

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Michelle Egglestone from Ballarat in Victoria is suing her former fiance over injuries she suffered at his house.

It seems they were having a few (?) drinks on the verandah of the house when she decided she needed to pee.  But go to the toilet?  No way, that’s for softies.  Instead she hung over the side of a veranda in the back garden when she fell onto a star picket underneath.

She suffered pelvic, lower abdominal, vaginal, rectal and bladder injuries and required surgery.  Ouch!!!!

Her lawyers say she has since suffered post traumatic stress and depression.  As you would I expect having sat rather forcefully on a pointy stick.

She claims her ex was negligent for failing to adequately light the veranda and for failing to erect a balustrade around it. She says he created a “situation of danger” and exposed her to injury by not capping the star picket onto which she fell and for not warning her of the risk.

How about taking a look in the mirror at yourself, Michelle?  Try pissing in the toilet – it would have saved you a hell of a lot of hurt. (and peeing over the side of the verandah saved you a walk of what, 10 metres, to the toilet).

Having said that, I do feel sympathy for her?  My eyes watered at the thought of what happened to her … just like reading stories of guys who cut their balls off.  And yes, I would think she has a case if the house was as described.

Run Ken, run

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Your girlfriend’s a freak.

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Galia Slayen, an American high school student, made a life size model of a Barbie doll, in the same proportions as the doll. The Barbie stands about 6 feet tall with a 39" bust, 18" waist and 33" hips (and I can’t be stuffed trying to convert that to metric).  I’m also trying to figure out if she’s got an unnaturally small head, or is that just by comparison to her ginormous boobs.

Slayen made the doll replica as a school project about eating disorders – she herself suffered with anorexia for a year,  She said:

“Talking about eating disorders is taboo to many people, and this made people talk about it,”

“It’s a shocking image. A lot of people have seen it, and it’s started debates,”

Talk about a freakshow.  I can only assume that there must have been some sort of major nuclear accident in Malibu (wherever Barbie is from?) around the time Barbie was conceived, and that this mutation is the result.

I’m betting this was a short marriage

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Adnan Rusanovski, 30, from Melbourne, got off to a great start on his wedding day, by beating his wife up in the back of the bridal car.  A Melbourne court yesterday heard he unleashed an ”impulsive burst of extraordinary and horrible aggression” at his totally blameless wife who was left ”black and blue and covered in blood”.  He also assaulted his best man.

 

Adnan-Rusanovski-420x0

 

Apparently this came about because Rusanovski had a bad case of nerves, which he decided to calm with alcohol – lots of it.  The court was told he was nervous and visibly upset and told best man Murat Abazi that ”I can’t do this straight”.  So the pair of them knocked off a bottle of whisky.  After the bridal party – which included five cousins, a niece and nephew – boarded their stretch limousine, Rusanovski drank a bottle of champagne on the way to getting their photographs taken.  This was not a success, as he was aggressive and unable to stand properly.  Then it was off for more photographs, where he was abusive to the groomsman who tried to calm him down.  Then off to the reception, on the way to which he began spilling drinks. 

He then grabbed his wife, Ferdie, struck her in the face – the first of about 30 punches she received – and put her in a headlock as Mr Abazi tried to stop him. After the car stopped, Rusanovski scuffled with Mr Abazi on the side of the road before he returned to the car and resumed assaulting his wife, biting her on the cheek and choking her. 

This all happened in front of the bridal party.  Rusanovski was arrested at the reception centre while his wife was taken to hospital with numerous injuries to her head, face, neck and an arm.  I take it the reception was not the celebration it was intended to be.

He has pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife, and will be sentenced later.   The reasons for the attack, advanced in court by his barrister were that anxiety ”pushed him into an elevated mood” while drinking alcohol, which ”predisposed him” to be aggressive and act in a ”weird and impulsive way”.  Weird is an understatement, for sure.

Now in some news I’m sure will surprise no-one, the couple are now separated, pending a divorce.

Whatever floats your (boat)?

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A couple had to be rescued from the flooded Yarra River after they got into trouble after having decided to go for a float down the river with their inflatable dolls.

The man and woman, both 19, were left clinging to a fallen gum tree in the middle of the river in North Warrandyte when one of the doll’s snagged on the tree and their caper went horribly wrong about 4.30pm on Sunday.  They were stuck in the middle of the river for about an hour until the State Emergency Service came to the scene and rescued them.

While it is understood the blow up doll and several other inflatable items were salvaged from the scene, the bottoms of the rescued woman’s bathers were long gone down the river.  The rescuers had to provide her with a blanket to preserve her modesty.

In a valuable life lesson to emerge from this misadventure, police warned that blow-up dolls are not recognised floatation devices.  So remember that everyone!

Maybe just a little obsessed?

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A 50 year old man gets dumped by his girlfriend.  He has trouble letting go.  So what does he do?

Naturally, he gets a lifelike sex doll made in her likeness, at a cost of $18,000.

According to the doll maker:

“She was a smiling blonde girl but he wanted bigger boobs and a curvier backside,” “Our normal dolls are very realistic and everything works just like the real thing.”

Hmmm!!!  But don’t knock something till you’ve tried it I suppose.  According to her maker:

“She is now the perfect girlfriend as far as I can see,”

I’ll have to take his word for it – the whole idea of screwing a doll really doesn’t do it for me.

Balls!

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I bet you didn’t know there was such a thing as a world testicle cooking championship.  It takes place in Ozrem, Serbia each year.  I bet that’s a damn exciting place – if that is the highlight of the year.

While it is open to cooks from all over the world, organisers admit that it so far hasn’t attracted many chefs from overseas.  That could just be because normal people in most countries don’t view animal balls as eating material.

Dishes, said to have aphrodisiac qualities, are made from the testicles of animals including bull, wild boar, horse, shark, ostrich, kangaroo, donkey, turkey, goat, reindeer and elk.

Serbian tourist officials are hoping that the competition will boost the tourism potential of the area.  Led by the balls. Festival organiser Ivo Mokovich said:

"The importance of a recognisable brand to sell a region cannot be underestimated,”

"Look at how many people go to Scotland because of the whisky or how many people know Switzerland because of their cheese and chocolate.”

"We are now hoping that the many famous and varied dishes that we have created in the region will become world-famous.”

Sure, I’ll go to Serbia to chow down on sheep’s balls as opposed to going to Scotland to sample scotch or Switzerland to eat cheese and chocolate.  Yummy!