Category Archives: weird shit

Doggy style

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You’re visiting an historic site, a dog chases you, what next?

In the case of one 33 year old man in England, you catch it and fuck it.  This happened at Pendennis Castle in Cornwall.  A woman was visiting the castle when her dog ran off after the man.  By the time she caught up with doggy, the man had already started having sex with it in the castle’s moat. 

Castle staff detained the man as police were called to the scene, a spokesman for English Heritage, which manages the attraction, said.

"This really was a very rare and unusual incident,"

he said.  I would hope so.

The man was later said to have made a "full and frank confession" to the incident, which remains under police investigation.  (Actually this says he was cautioned for outraging public decency).  No mention in the story of what type of dog it was, what sex or whether it was cute or not.

But wait, there’s more.  Did I mention that not only is the man a dog rooting freak, he is also a cross-dresser?

Barking mad

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From the land of crazy litigation comes another strange case.  A New York couple are suing a dog sitting agency for $1m over the death of their dog.

Bankers Laura Garner and Robert Hardon entrusted their five-year-old French Bulldog Percy to caretakers at agency Doggie Love for one night in July 2009 while they were out of town, their lawsuit claimed.  An agency employee drove the dog to the couple’s apartment in the back of an enclosed van, then dropped off the obviously ailing Percy inside the empty apartment – despite the building’s doorman and a federal judge who lives next door asking if they could get the dog water or call a vet, according to the lawsuit.

Percy was discovered dead, splayed out in front of an air conditioner, a few hours later.  Vets examined his body that night and found evidence that his body temperature was "notably high" and that he suffered seizures.

"The emptiness that has been left by Percy’s death and the anguish we suffered has not and will never be filled or go away,"

the couple said, laying it on thick, obviously for the benefit of the court.  They are seeking at least $1m in damages.

Now I agree that losing your pet is tragic, and also that if the dog sitting agency was at fault they should be compensating you for their negligence.  But $1m, come off it – try a new dog and a few thousand dollars maybe!

The awesomeness of ninja

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Three men got more than they bargained for when they tried to mug a man in Sydney’s west this week.  After bailing him up while he was travelling home on the train, and demanding he hand over his wallet, which he refused to do, they followed him down the street.  When he turned into an alley, the would be muggers thought their time had come.

They tripped him over, kicked him as he lay on the ground, and took his phone and ipod.  That’s where all the goodness for the bad guys ends.

What they didn’t realise is that the alley was home to Ninja Senshi Ryu – a ninja school, and that they had been seen by one of the ninjas.  He went and told his teacher and five of the ninjas came to the help of the victim.  The sensei, Kaylan Soto, said the muggers got a bit of a shock:

”You should have seen their faces when they saw us in ninja gear coming towards them,”

The attackers fled, the ninjas chased them, but didn’t stop them escaping.  The man who was attacked was shaken, but suffered only minor injuries.

ninja-420x0

Police caught up with 2 of the 3 muggers the next day, and charged them with robbery.  They are still looking for the third.

Ka-ching! Airplane toilets = profit centres?

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Irish budget airline Ryanair is to charge passengers for using the toilet on their flights.  They are going to make their toilets coin-operated, charging one pound or one euro per use.

Their rationale is to fit more seats on the planes by reducing the number of toilets.  According to a Ryanair spokesman:

“By charging for the toilets we are hoping to change passenger behaviour so that they use the bathroom before or after the flight,”

“That will enable us to remove two out of three of the toilets and make way for at least six extra seats.”

I can’t help but think they may get some nasty surprises under their seats and in sick bags – given they cater to the bottom of the market (ie bogans going on holidays).

Also, whats the pricing policy for those wanting to join the mile high club.  Two-for-the-price-of-one?

Taking rejection badly

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People don’t like being rejected.  Some take it very badly.  But I bet no-one takes it as badly as an Indonesian teenager did.

Upon learning that his girlfriend intended to marry another man, he cut his penis off and tossed it down a well.

Doctors were unable to re-attach his dick because villagers could not find it. He spent several days in intensive care but is now in recovery.

According to a hospital spokesman:

"He’s still too shocked and embarrassed to talk to or see anyone."

Hardly surprising!

He also added:

"Cutting off a penis can be fatal."

It wasn’t in this case, but I bet the 19 year old guy wishes he was dead now.

Not exactly 5 star

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There’s a hotel in Memphis in the USA which I suspect falls well short of 5 star standards – quite likely even 1 star.

Investigating a bad smell in a room led to the discovery of a woman’s body under the bed.  It was that of Sony Millbrook, who had been reported missing on January 27.

Millbrook had been staying in room 222 at a Budget Inn and was last seen there at 7am local time by a staff member who advised officers the room had been locked that day for lack of payment but all of her personal belongings were still inside the apartment.  Later they were boxed up and the room made available for rental.

Before the discovery of her body the room had been rented approximately 5 times and cleaned by the hotel staff numerous times.

Clearly a quality establishment!

Tampons = nothing to do with vaginas

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According to American TV networks that is.  An American tampon maker had its advertisement rejected by major television networks because it spoke the forbidden word, ie vagina.  Even when the company substituted "down there" for vagina, two of the networks still wouldn’t run the ad – so the company dropped the ad.

A spokeswoman for the advertising agency responsible for the ad said:

"The whole category has been very euphemistic, or paternalistic even, and we’re saying, enough with the euphemisms, and get over it. Tampon is not a dirty word, and neither is vagina."

but even better was the comment in The Sexist blog – just love this one:

"Now, the commercial contains no direct references to female genitalia – you know, the place where the fucking tampon goes."

Oddly enough, the same TV networks don’t seem to have a problem with about references to "erectile dysfunction" in prime-time ads for Viagra and Cialis, pointed out an executive for Kimberley-Clark, the tampon manufacturer.

Things you can do to pass the time on that long drive

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We all know people who do various things to occupy themselves while they’re driving somewhere, for instance, talking on the phone, texting, fiddling with the radio/CD/MP3 player, eating, drinking, fixing up the makeup, etc etc.  Whatever, it helps pass the time, and helps them get ready for wherever it is they’re going.

What about trimming your pubes?  Ever thought of that as something you could do while driving?

Megan Barnes, a 37 year old Florida woman, obviously thought it was something she needed to take care of while driving along.  It was obviously distracting, as she ran up the back of another car while doing it.

Not only that, she was doing this while in the car with her ex-husband on her way to visit her boyfriend (somehow I think there’s got to be trailer parks involved here).    Apparently the ex was steering the car, from the passenger seat, while she was doing her gardening.

Patrol officers say they determined that in addition to this bit of "landscaping" behind the wheel, Barnes was already driving with a suspended license, just one day after she was convicted of driving under the influence.  She was charged with reckless driving, driving with a revoked license, leaving the scene of a crash with injuries, and driving without insurance. Trooper Gary Dunick, describing what Ms. Barnes was thinking, explained,

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit."

Oh my god! My eyes, my eyes ….. there’s vaginas on the TV

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And no, its not because I was watching porn.

An episode of the ABC TV show “Hungry Beast” generated a bit of controversy this week with a story about the (soft) porn industry’s airbrushing of female genitalia, which gave an unrealistic image of what was “normal”.   Soft porn magazine publishers claimed they were forced to airbrush pictures due to classification rules which deemed explicit depictions of female genitalia to be inappropriate.  So all they tend to show in their pictures is a neat crease – nothing with any poking out or dangly bits.

It is claimed that this in turn influences women who are concerned that their vagina is not “normal”, and the increase in the number of women having plastic surgery on their genitals is largely due to this – labiaplasty is a growth business for cosmetic surgeons, apparently.  Personally I think you’d have to be incredibly vain, insecure or have too much money and time on your hands to want to get this done – no doubt it goes with another useless procedure, anal bleaching.

The show attracted some complaints, although not large numbers.  This could be a product of Australian TV viewers being less prudish than our American counterparts, or maybe simply that hardly anyone actually watches the show.  It could also be that there was plenty of warning before they showed the story.

“Certainly, it contained strong scenes. However, viewers were given clear warnings about the content – one before the show began, and one before the actual segment – and so had ample opportunity to avoid the segment if they felt it might make them uncomfortable.”

said an ABC spokesperson.

Now, I know a lot of my readers come here in search of pussy – so click on the “Hungry Beast” link above for today’s treat.  Don’t say I don’t deliver to my readers.

Now, for something a bit different, but related in a roundabout way, and to highlight the prudishness of Americans in particular, check this out.

snowbikini

A woman in New Jersey made a snow figure based on the famous Venus de Milo statue which is kept at the Louvre in Paris.  However the nude rendition of a female torso, including (shock! horror! oh my god the children might see it!) boobs, was too much for someone.  Said the lady who made the snowman:

"We had a visit from the local police who told us that a neighbour had complained about the statue and we needed to cover it up or knock it down,"

"We didn’t want to have any problem with the police so we covered it up."

Hence, what you see above.